Shame is a heavy emotion. It lurks in the shadows, hidden beneath layers of self-protection, fear, and silence. Unlike guilt, which acknowledges wrongdoing and allows for repair, shame convinces us that we are the flaw—that we are unworthy of love, connection, and belonging.

In psychotherapy, shame can be difficult to access because it thrives in secrecy. Clients may not even be consciously aware of how deeply shame has shaped their behaviors, relationships, and self-perception. This is where Reiki, a gentle energy-healing practice, can be a profound ally in the therapeutic process. Reiki provides a nonverbal, somatic bridge to the unconscious, helping to illuminate shame without retraumatization.

Understanding Shame Through the Nervous System
From a Polyvagal Theory perspective, shame often activates the dorsal vagal response, leading to collapse, withdrawal, and dissociation. When someone is stuck in shame, their nervous system registers it as a profound threat, making it difficult to engage in talk therapy alone. They may intellectually understand that their shame is rooted in past experiences, yet their body continues to hold onto it as a felt sense of unworthiness.
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Reiki-assisted psychotherapy works with this dysregulated nervous system state, allowing clients to process shame gently and safely. By offering energetic support, Reiki can:

• Create a sense of safety in the body, making it easier to access difficult emotions without overwhelm.
• Bring unconscious emotions to the surface without forcing verbal processing.
• Restore self-compassion by shifting the energetic imprint of shame.
• Reconnect clients to their true essence, beyond the distortions of past wounds.

Reiki as a Light in the Darkness of Shame
Shame thrives in isolation, telling us we must hide parts of ourselves to be accepted. Reiki, as a practice of unconditional acceptance and presence, disrupts this narrative. In a Reiki-assisted psychotherapy session, clients experience a nonjudgmental, compassionate space where their energy is met exactly as it is—without expectation, without shame.

As Reiki flows through the body, it has a way of revealing where shame is stored. Clients may feel sensations in their throat, chest, or solar plexus, areas commonly associated with suppressed emotions and self-expression. Rather than pushing through resistance, Reiki allows these blockages to soften, inviting a sense of warmth, spaciousness, and possibility.

The energy of Reiki also helps shift clients out of shame’s contracted, frozen state and into a more fluid and expansive awareness. Many report feeling lighter, as if a weight has been lifted—because in a very real way, it has.

Releasing Shame and Reclaiming Wholeness
Healing shame is not about erasing the past or bypassing difficult emotions. It is about bringing light to what has been hidden, so it no longer holds power over us. When we acknowledge and integrate the parts of ourselves that have been shrouded in shame, we reclaim our wholeness.

In Reiki-assisted psychotherapy, this process unfolds not through force, but through presence. Reiki does not demand; it simply offers. It does not judge; it simply witnesses. And in that witnessing, healing happens.
If you have been carrying shame that feels too deep to access or too painful to face alone, know that there is a way forward. Reiki can be a gentle guide, helping you move from the darkness of shame into the light of self-acceptance.

Healing from Betrayal Trauma with HeartMath
Betrayal trauma occurs when someone we deeply trust violates our sense of safety and connection. Whether it stems from infidelity, deception, or broken promises, betrayal can leave deep emotional and energetic wounds that affect not just our mental and spiritual well-being but also our nervous system and physical health. Many people struggling with betrayal trauma experience hypervigilance, emotional dysregulation, anxiety, and difficulty trusting others.

Traditional therapeutic approaches address the cognitive and emotional aspects of betrayal trauma, but integrating HeartMath techniques can offer profound support by helping individuals regulate their nervous system, restore inner balance, and reconnect with their own heart’s intelligence.

HeartMath is a scientifically validated approach that helps people shift their emotional state by focusing on heart coherence—the state where the heart, brain, and nervous system work in harmony. When betrayal trauma triggers fight-or-flight responses or emotional overwhelm, HeartMath tools can provide practical ways to regain stability and heal. 

Here are some ways in which HeartMath can help:

1. Rebuilding Safety Through Nervous System Regulation

Betrayal disrupts our internal sense of safety, leaving us stuck in defended nervous system states.  This can look like cycles of hyperarousal (anxiety, anger, fear) or hypoarousal (numbness, shutdown, dissociation). HeartMath techniques, particularly Heart-Focused Breathing, help reset the nervous system by:
✅ Activating the ventral vagal state, which promotes safety and connection
✅ Reducing stress hormones like cortisol
✅ Encouraging emotional resilience

Practice:

1. Bring awareness to your heart.
2. Inhale deeply for 5-6 seconds, and exhale slowly for the same duration.
3. Imagine your breath flowing in and out of your heart.
4. Allow yourself to feel a sense of ease and presence.
   
   
   

2. Restoring Emotional Balance and Self-Trust

Betrayal can leave people feeling disconnected from themselves, questioning their own worth and intuition. HeartMath’s Quick Coherence® Technique helps restore emotional balance and rebuild self-trust by generating positive emotional states like gratitude, compassion, and appreciation—key emotions that counteract the impact of betrayal.

Practice:

1. Begin with Heart-Focused Breathing as described above.
2. Recall a moment when you felt deep appreciation or love.
3. Hold that feeling in your heart while continuing to breathe slowly.
4. Notice any shifts in your emotions or body sensations.

The key to HeartMath techniques is to practice them regularly. In doing so we systematically widen our window of tolerance and increase our baseline of coherence. When we practice regularly we can retrain our nervous system to feel safe in positive emotions again, rather than being stuck in survival mode

3. Releasing Emotional Triggers & Reclaiming Power

Triggers related to betrayal can be overwhelming and unpredictable. The Freeze-Frame® Technique from HeartMath helps individuals pause in moments of distress, disengage from reactive emotions, and shift to a more empowered state of mind.

Practice:

1. When triggered, pause and focus on your heart.
2. Breathe deeply and bring up a positive, calming memory.
3. Ask yourself, "What’s a wiser, more heart-centered response to this situation?"
4. Trust the intuitive answer that arises.

This practice interrupts the automatic stress response and gives individuals more control over their emotional reactions, helping them reclaim their sense of power and agency after betrayal.

Moving Forward: Integrating HeartMath into Your Healing Journey

Recovering from betrayal trauma is a deeply personal journey, but learning to regulate your nervous system, reconnect with your heart, and cultivate self-compassion can accelerate healing. 

If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, consider incorporating HeartMath techniques into your daily routine. Over time, these practices can rebuild inner stability, help you trust yourself again, and open the door to deeper healing and connection.

Listen here for a Reiki Infused HeartMath Experience

​Betrayal trauma occurs when someone (or something - such as an institution) we trust hurts us in some way.  Betrayals can be big and obvious such as infidelity or being blind-sided and they can also be subtle such as someone being consistently unreliable or failing to meet our needs.  Betrayal trauma  can deeply impact both the mind and body, leaving emotional imprints that disrupt a person’s sense of safety, trust, and self-worth.  These imprints may happen slowly over time and we may not even consciously know that they are there.  While traditional western psychotherapy helps clients understand their experiences, deep healing often requires bottom-up processing—engaging the body, nervous system, and energy field.

Somatic therapy approaches, such as Focusing (Eugene Gendlin) and Somatic Experiencing (Peter Levine), offer powerful ways to process trauma by tuning into the felt sense of the body.  The felt sense is our sixth sense, also known as Interoception, which is the ability to listen to both obvious (hunger, needing to urinate) and subtle (emotions) cues from our body. Reiki, when integrated into these approaches, serves as a regulating force, helping clients safely access these cues and release stored imprints while remaining within their window of tolerance.

Developed by Eugene Gendlin, Focusing helps clients attune to their inner bodily sensations (the "felt sense") to access deeper emotional truth. Instead of analyzing emotions cognitively, Focusing guides the client to sit with their physical sensations, listen to them, and allow them to shift naturally.

🔹 How Reiki Enhances Somatic Approaches:

• Reiki helps create a safe and regulated space for clients to access their felt sense without overwhelm.
• If a client struggles to identify their body’s sensations, Reiki can gently activate awareness by guiding energy to areas where trauma is stored.
• Clients who experience emotional numbness or dissociation can use Reiki to reconnect with their bodies in a non-threatening way.
• Reiki serves as a co-regulating tool, helping clients stay grounded while engaging with distressing sensations.
• Clients who feel stuck in freeze mode may benefit from Reiki’s gentle energetic movement, which encourages the nervous system to shift out of immobility.
• Reiki can be applied to specific areas of the body that hold tension or trauma, supporting the body’s natural capacity to release stored stress.

🔹 Examples in Therapy:

A client, feeling numb after betrayal, struggles to "find" their emotions. Instead of talking about the pain, which has the potential to reinforce the imprint, the therapist invites them to place a hand on their heart or stomach and notice any sensations. The therapist may use Reiki to lightly place hands near these areas, or if virtual the therapist may direct Reiki to those areas using intention, allowing the body's subtle messages to emerge. As warmth or tingling arises, the client begins to feel a soft sadness, making space for emotional processing.

A client recalling betrayal feels tension in their throat and chest but struggles to release it. Instead of pushing them into catharsis, the therapist helps them track the sensation and notice small shifts. Reiki is applied near the throat (or directed if virtual) as the client takes slow breaths, gradually feeling the constriction soften. As their body relaxes, emotions move through them, rather than staying stuck.

One of the biggest challenges in trauma healing is dysregulation. Clients often either:
Become overwhelmed (hyperarousal/Sympathetic Activation) → racing thoughts, panic, emotional flooding.
Shut down completely (hypoarousal/Dorsal Vagal Collapse) → numbness, disconnection, emotional paralysis.

Reiki helps clients stay within their Window of Tolerance while doing the work by:
✅ Acting as a gentle stabilizer during intense emotional work.
✅ Keeping clients connected to safety even when exploring difficult feelings.
✅ Helping clients return to regulation if they become overwhelmed or dissociated.

Example in Therapy:
A client processing a painful memory starts to feel panicked. Instead of pushing through, the therapist uses Reiki to lightly place hands near their feet, helping them ground and return to the present moment. The client sighs, their body naturally self-regulating, allowing the session to continue without shutdown.

When integrated with somatic approaches to therapy, Reiki helps clients:

✅ Feel safe enough to explore trauma without overwhelm.
✅ Reconnect with their felt sense and release stored emotions.
✅ Discharge trapped survival energy without reliving distress.
✅ Repair their energetic and emotional boundaries after betrayal.
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Healing betrayal trauma is not just about understanding what happened—it’s about feeling safe in your body again. By integrating Reiki into somatic therapy, clients can experience healing in a way that respects both the mind and the body's natural wisdom.  Reiki does not replace psychotherapy—it enhances it by offering a gentle, embodied, and deeply regulating approach to trauma healing.

Would you like to explore Reiki-assisted psychotherapy for trauma healing? Whether you’re a practitioner or a client, this integrative approach provides a deeply supportive path toward emotional safety, self-trust, and resilience.

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This is the beginning of a series of blog posts about Human Design as a tool for self discovery, personal growth and spiritual wellness.  Human Design is a system that was created by Ra Hu Uru in 1987.  This system is a culmination of ancient wisdom and modern practices that continues to be updated by practitioners as consciousness evolves.

Your Human Design begins with your birthdate, time and place (for time zone purposes).  Based on where the planets were positioned when you were incarnated into this world and 88 days before, your Human Design Bodygraph is formed.  There are many layers to the Bodygraph which we start by looking at piece by piece, but ultimately all of the layers work together along with your ancestral lineage, childhood conditioning, life experiences and epigenetics to produce a blueprint of the energetic mechanics of how you uniquely move through the world.

Human Design is not a labeling system, but rather an archetypal system that gives us a guide to understanding how we process energy and what works best for us.  It is meant to be used as a tool, in experimentation between ourselves and our environment.  As we learn more about our mechanics and the ways in which we may be stuck in the shadows of our parts, we can intentionally start to move into resonance with our gifts and who we are meant to be.

Do you know your design?  Run a free human design chart here.

For more information or to book a Human Design Chart Reading email [email protected] or visit journeywithkindredsouls.com

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It seems that over the last year or so conversations around the use of psychedelics in psychotherapy crossed the tipping point into the mainstream.  Up until recently I had been mildly aware of the research being conducted on the use of MDMA to treat Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and every once in a while a training opportunity around the use of psychedelics in psychotherapy would show up in my inbox. For whatever reason however, it never really resonated with me.  That is, until more and more people started to talk about it from an experiential perspective.

Through listening to stories and experiences, I learned that people were having Non Ordinary States of Consciousness (NOSC) experiences, and at times full on mystical and out of body experiences, and that with integration therapy they were using what they learned through those experiences to take intentional and committed action in their everyday lives.  Whoa!  As a holistic integrative practitioner who practices from a mindfulness and values driven framework, this is right up my alley. How did I not know this?!

So I did what I always do when something peaks my interest…a deep dive into the topic matter of psychedelic assisted psychotherapy.  After reading numerous articles, listening to hours of podcasts, taking several self paced psychedelic assisted psychotherapy trainings and a live training on psychedelic harm reduction and integration, connecting with many other psychotherapists who are doing the work and joining a community with the intention of ultimately providing Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP), I am finally coming up for a little bit of air.  Wow.  There is quite a bit happening here!

There is a lot of promise in the use of psychedelics to treat stubborn mental health challenges including treatment resistant depression, anxiety and PTSD.  The FDA has designated MDMA assisted therapy for PTSD a breakthrough therapy and it is currently in Phase 3 trials. Research using psilocybin (active ingredient in “Magic Mushrooms”) to treat mental health disorders is well under way and Oregon has legalized its use for therapeutic purposes. Ketamine, which is a dissociative psychedelic used in emergency rooms and on battlefields as an anesthetic, is being used off-label with great success for treating depression and alcohol abuse when in conjunction with psychotherapy.  And of course, there is the indigenous use of plant medicine for healing and rites of passage rituals that has been occurring for thousands of years.

But this post isn’t about the medicine, or even the research that is being done.  It is about the process, and how over and over it is made clear that the medicine by itself is not what heals.  Without preparation, intention setting, integration and work on the part of the patient, the experience simply becomes a story that sits on a shelf.  The medicine works as a facilitator that allows the individual to access unconscious material and non ordinary states so that they can do the healing work.  Ketamine in particular improves the plasticity of the brain for a period of time after dosing which provides an opportunity to learn new skills and habits that may have otherwise been difficult.

This got me thinking about Reiki and whether it can be used in a similar way.  Reiki after all, is a contemplative experience during which most people experience a trance state.  Studies using EEG have shown that the recipient and the practitioner enter into beta, theta and delta states during a session. In my own subjective experience I find that a Reiki treatment allows me to drop in, similar to meditation but with more ease and support as I am energetically held by the practitioner.  Individuals with whom I have provided Reiki with intention setting often report an experience of being able to go “deeper” and coming out with a clearer understanding and more insights.

As I come to learn more and understand the use of psychedelics to treat mental health challenges, as well as for personal growth and enlightenment, I am drawn to the desire for us as human beings to access “something more”.   During this time when anxiety and depression are the highest they have ever been and we are struggling to find purpose and meaning amidst the toxicity and stress in the world, we are reaching.  While psychedelic experiences can certainly open doors, with the exception of Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy, currently psychedelics can only legally be used in this way in research trials.   

Also, if you don’t already have a contemplative practice nor have had the experience of Non Ordinary State of Consciousness a psychedelic experience can be jarring. If you are contemplating the use of these medicines as an initial step at healing, it is strongly advised that you find a therapist who is trained or knowledgeable about psychedelic harm reduction and integration to help walk you through the decision, weigh the pros and cons and ensure safety.  It may be that what you are seeking can be found in other ways, including a contemplative spiritual experience such as Reiki or breath work.

See here for more information on how I use Reiki in my holistic integrative practice. 

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Most of us who enter the helping profession do so with a conscious drive “to heal” others.  This is usually because we have our own wounding that may still need attention, or because we want to give back, having had the impact of powerful healing in our lives.  The “Wounded Healer” archetype was coined by Carl Jung.  Jung believed that disease of the soul could be the best possible form of training for a healer. In essence, our woundedness serves as an inherent drive to heal others affording us the ability to empathize and come into wholeness with those we serve.  

The shadow side of the wounded healer however leaves us vulnerable to misusing our gifts as a way to feed our egos.  Our shadow seeks other wounded souls believing we can save them.  We ignore our own needs and get hooked by our ego, believing we know better and have all of the answers. We can lose touch with ourselves and the gentle art of creating space for healing to occur. 

Shadow sides of any archetype are not inherently bad, yet they are often unconscious and drive behaviors without awareness.  The lack of self care and the need to keep wounded souls in one’s orbit without realizing it can easily lead to burn out, misuse of power and toxic relationships.  If the healer is not properly trained, nor seeking supervision and doing their own reflective work, their conscious drive to heal and help ultimately becomes driven by the unconscious needs of the shadow. 

When this archetype finds themselves in a leadership role, their system can become easily confused creating an opening for the shadow to dominate.  As a leader the primary role is no longer “to heal” others, instead it is to guide or shepherd towards a shared objective or goal. This can be confusing to the shadow as without conscious awareness they continue to seek relief from their hurts and fail to take responsibility for holding the vision of the greater good.  Without realizing it, healers turned leaders can fall to the shadow using power, control and blame to satisfy their unmet need.  A transpersonal approach gives us a perspective from which we can continue to ground ourselves in leadership roles and bring light to our shadow part.

Four ways healers turned leaders can bring light to their shadow for transpersonal leadership:

1.  Find a Leadership Mentor

As healers we spend most of our careers working with mentors, teachers or supervisors who help guide us in using our skills and healing prowess.  They not only teach, they also hold a mirror up to us and are typically skilled in helping us bring unconscious drives to awareness.  Transpersonal leadership requires the same kind of guidance however it may require a different guide.  Look for someone you admire and who has a proven track record of balancing both their innate healing gifts with consciously leading others from a values driven approach.  

         2.   Learn and Understand your Relationship with Power
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As healers we tend to have a complicated relationship with power, especially if it is involved in our original wounding.  We enter into space with others in a unique hierarchical relationship.  Although we would like to think that it is balanced, people come to us for help which automatically gives us implicit power.  When we are operating from our shadow, we can take advantage of this unknowingly and in the most toxic forms we may even keep people dependent on us.  

The power dynamic in a leadership role however is explicit and necessary.  Minimizing or ignoring it can leave people confused and feeling unsafe. A transpersonal leader understands their influence and is able to empower individuals while still holding them accountable.  Transpersonal leadership requires us to identify our unconscious use of power so that we can use it to serve rather than control.

       3.  Practice Humility
As healers we are taught to practice humility however our shadow side believes that we should have all of the answers. Transpersonal leaders operate beyond their own ego to balance the needs of those they lead and the organization or community they serve for the greatest good.  A transpersonal leader knows that they don’t have all of the answers.  Instead they practice curiosity and humility.  Their job is to ask the right questions and take in all of the information exercising flexibility and conscious decision making when it comes time to make the tough decisions.

     4.  Identity your Values
As healers we are required to do our own work including the continual identification and alignment with values.  Transpersonal leaders align with their values as well as the values of the organization/community and use them to help guide decision making.  These decisions are not always easy and knowing how you want to show up will become your north star.  How do you want to treat yourself and how do you want to treat others?  Is this move aligned with the mission of the organization and how does it impact the greater good?  Transpersonal leadership requires healers to think beyond themselves and the individual in front of them, knowing and aligning with values will help you stay on track.

Ultimately, healers have the training and insight to be powerful change agents and leaders. Often we are thrust into these positions because we are good at what we do even if we have little leadership experience.  Luckily, as trained healers we are not strangers to ourselves.  Transpersonal leadership requires us to continue our internal work, shining light on our shadows, so that we can show up in authentic and radical ways holding the vision of the greater good.



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Reiki is a Japanese stress reduction technique based on the idea that life force energy runs through all living beings. When we encounter threats in our environment however, our nervous system reacts to protect us and that energy can become blocked, stagnant or overloaded in certain channels.  According to Polyvagal Theory these reactions are generated by the autonomic nervous system and are not within our conscious awareness.  As stated on Deb Dana’s Rhythm of Regulation website, “This is not the brain making a cognitive choice, these are autonomic energies moving in patterns of protection.”  Reiki practitioners use gentle touch to deliver needed energy and remove blockages so that equilibrium can be restored to the whole system.  

A Reiki experience usually involves the individual lying fully clothed on a table or reclining in a chair.  Typically there is soft lighting and music playing in the background.  While channeling energy, the practitioner may direct the individual to focus on their breath and any sensations they may experience.  At times the session can be focused, ie: invitations to visualize the energy as it shifts throughout the body and/or letting unnecessary energy go.  Other times the individual may fall asleep or go into a trance state while the practitioner follows their intuition for hand placements.  Ultimately we trust in the wisdom of the Reiki energy to do what it needs for ultimate healing and the greater good of all.

This process is both an opportunity and practice for an individual to drop into their body and notice sensations without judgements or attachments, giving themselves permission to let go of what is no longer serving them.  Reiki energy is kind and loving, thus creating a safe container for the nervous system to express itself.  During and after a Reiki session individuals may be able to access parts of themselves that were previously exiled due to shame, fear and pain. 

Because Reiki energy restores equilibrium, individuals are able to find their state of safety and connection.   From this perspective they can access self compassion and psychological flexibility that may have previously been blocked.  This allows for new ways of approaching problems, the ability to identify and use “glimmers” as a way to come back to safety and to open pathways of connection.

Lastly, Reiki energy works directly with the subconscious and unconscious mind.  For those individuals who ask for, and are willing to accept healing on a deeper level, Reiki can assist with identifying unhelpful beliefs that lie in the subconscious and unconscious and are causing behaviors and attitudes that are not aligned with the individual’s conscious values. 

As a holistic energy healing technique, Reiki as an enhancement to psychotherapy can assist with nervous system regulation allowing for the individual to access states of safety and connection thus creating opportunities for self compassion and psychological flexibility when working with both conscious and unconscious states.

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