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Healing from Betrayal Trauma with HeartMath
Betrayal trauma occurs when someone we deeply trust violates our sense of safety and connection. Whether it stems from infidelity, deception, or broken promises, betrayal can leave deep emotional and energetic wounds that affect not just our mental and spiritual well-being but also our nervous system and physical health. Many people struggling with betrayal trauma experience hypervigilance, emotional dysregulation, anxiety, and difficulty trusting others. Traditional therapeutic approaches address the cognitive and emotional aspects of betrayal trauma, but integrating HeartMath techniques can offer profound support by helping individuals regulate their nervous system, restore inner balance, and reconnect with their own heart’s intelligence. HeartMath is a scientifically validated approach that helps people shift their emotional state by focusing on heart coherence—the state where the heart, brain, and nervous system work in harmony. When betrayal trauma triggers fight-or-flight responses or emotional overwhelm, HeartMath tools can provide practical ways to regain stability and heal. Here are some ways in which HeartMath can help: 1. Rebuilding Safety Through Nervous System Regulation Betrayal disrupts our internal sense of safety, leaving us stuck in defended nervous system states. This can look like cycles of hyperarousal (anxiety, anger, fear) or hypoarousal (numbness, shutdown, dissociation). HeartMath techniques, particularly Heart-Focused Breathing, help reset the nervous system by: ✅ Activating the ventral vagal state, which promotes safety and connection ✅ Reducing stress hormones like cortisol ✅ Encouraging emotional resilience Practice:
Betrayal can leave people feeling disconnected from themselves, questioning their own worth and intuition. HeartMath’s Quick Coherence® Technique helps restore emotional balance and rebuild self-trust by generating positive emotional states like gratitude, compassion, and appreciation—key emotions that counteract the impact of betrayal. Practice:
The key to HeartMath techniques is to practice them regularly. In doing so we systematically widen our window of tolerance and increase our baseline of coherence. When we practice regularly we can retrain our nervous system to feel safe in positive emotions again, rather than being stuck in survival mode 3. Releasing Emotional Triggers & Reclaiming Power Triggers related to betrayal can be overwhelming and unpredictable. The Freeze-Frame® Technique from HeartMath helps individuals pause in moments of distress, disengage from reactive emotions, and shift to a more empowered state of mind. Practice:
This practice interrupts the automatic stress response and gives individuals more control over their emotional reactions, helping them reclaim their sense of power and agency after betrayal. Moving Forward: Integrating HeartMath into Your Healing Journey Recovering from betrayal trauma is a deeply personal journey, but learning to regulate your nervous system, reconnect with your heart, and cultivate self-compassion can accelerate healing. If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, consider incorporating HeartMath techniques into your daily routine. Over time, these practices can rebuild inner stability, help you trust yourself again, and open the door to deeper healing and connection. Listen here for a Reiki Infused HeartMath Experience
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 Betrayal trauma occurs when someone (or something - such as an institution) we trust hurts us in some way. Betrayals can be big and obvious such as infidelity or being blind-sided and they can also be subtle such as someone being consistently unreliable or failing to meet our needs. Betrayal trauma can deeply impact both the mind and body, leaving emotional imprints that disrupt a person’s sense of safety, trust, and self-worth. These imprints may happen slowly over time and we may not even consciously know that they are there. While traditional western psychotherapy helps clients understand their experiences, deep healing often requires bottom-up processing—engaging the body, nervous system, and energy field. Somatic therapy approaches, such as Focusing (Eugene Gendlin) and Somatic Experiencing (Peter Levine), offer powerful ways to process trauma by tuning into the felt sense of the body. The felt sense is our sixth sense, also known as Interoception, which is the ability to listen to both obvious (hunger, needing to urinate) and subtle (emotions) cues from our body. Reiki, when integrated into these approaches, serves as a regulating force, helping clients safely access these cues and release stored imprints while remaining within their window of tolerance. Developed by Eugene Gendlin, Focusing helps clients attune to their inner bodily sensations (the "felt sense") to access deeper emotional truth. Instead of analyzing emotions cognitively, Focusing guides the client to sit with their physical sensations, listen to them, and allow them to shift naturally. 🔹 How Reiki Enhances Somatic Approaches:
🔹 Examples in Therapy: A client, feeling numb after betrayal, struggles to "find" their emotions. Instead of talking about the pain, which has the potential to reinforce the imprint, the therapist invites them to place a hand on their heart or stomach and notice any sensations. The therapist may use Reiki to lightly place hands near these areas, or if virtual the therapist may direct Reiki to those areas using intention, allowing the body's subtle messages to emerge. As warmth or tingling arises, the client begins to feel a soft sadness, making space for emotional processing. A client recalling betrayal feels tension in their throat and chest but struggles to release it. Instead of pushing them into catharsis, the therapist helps them track the sensation and notice small shifts. Reiki is applied near the throat (or directed if virtual) as the client takes slow breaths, gradually feeling the constriction soften. As their body relaxes, emotions move through them, rather than staying stuck. One of the biggest challenges in trauma healing is dysregulation. Clients often either: Become overwhelmed (hyperarousal/Sympathetic Activation) → racing thoughts, panic, emotional flooding. Shut down completely (hypoarousal/Dorsal Vagal Collapse) → numbness, disconnection, emotional paralysis. Reiki helps clients stay within their Window of Tolerance while doing the work by: ✅ Acting as a gentle stabilizer during intense emotional work. ✅ Keeping clients connected to safety even when exploring difficult feelings. ✅ Helping clients return to regulation if they become overwhelmed or dissociated. Example in Therapy: A client processing a painful memory starts to feel panicked. Instead of pushing through, the therapist uses Reiki to lightly place hands near their feet, helping them ground and return to the present moment. The client sighs, their body naturally self-regulating, allowing the session to continue without shutdown. When integrated with somatic approaches to therapy, Reiki helps clients: ✅ Feel safe enough to explore trauma without overwhelm. ✅ Reconnect with their felt sense and release stored emotions. ✅ Discharge trapped survival energy without reliving distress. ✅ Repair their energetic and emotional boundaries after betrayal. Healing betrayal trauma is not just about understanding what happened—it’s about feeling safe in your body again. By integrating Reiki into somatic therapy, clients can experience healing in a way that respects both the mind and the body's natural wisdom. Reiki does not replace psychotherapy—it enhances it by offering a gentle, embodied, and deeply regulating approach to trauma healing. Would you like to explore Reiki-assisted psychotherapy for trauma healing? Whether you’re a practitioner or a client, this integrative approach provides a deeply supportive path toward emotional safety, self-trust, and resilience. |
AuthorJodi K. Silverman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Reiki Master whose mission is to support and guide human beings in their journey for meaning, purpose and connection. Archives
April 2025
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Currently providing telehealth in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Florida, Massachusetts
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